Tricia's Thoughts

Today I’m sweltering in hot, hot weather, which is quite ironic, because last week was cold. Bitterly cold and wet.

24th November 2009

Hopefully now, although we should have our regular 4 pm thunderstorms, we will enjoy some summer weather for the next few months. It’s particularly difficult for me with the weather being so changeable, because I’ve packed and moved all my stuff out of the Guest House and am commuting between here and my daughters. Maybe commuting is not the right word as I refuse to travel in rush hour, so I do 24 hours here and 24 hours there!!!! This can mean that the summer clothes I’m wearing are to cool or the warmer ones I put on because of the forecast, that are now are too hot!!!

 

Such is life!!

 

Well, it has been very hectic since I last managed to squeeze in a few words on WLS. First of all I was in Cape Town teaching for the weekend, and thoroughly enjoying a Monday stroll along the coast and harbours.

The wind was blowing, but the air was wonderful, fresh and invigorating; stopping for a delicious fresh fish supper at the end of the walk while watching the fishing boats come into harbour, was a wonderful treat.

 

I got back later on Tuesday than I had planned as my original flight was cancelled, but it still gave me plenty of time to finish packing all my things in anticipation of the removal people arriving first thing on Wednesday morning, which they did. I don’t remember much about Wednesday, except for the packers going to work on my glasses, china, and other oddments. They also wrapped the rather special bits of furniture that my father had left me.

 

However, in the midst of all this, I got a phone call to say that Tao was being sick. I’d carefully kept him away from the house while the packers were at work as I know how distressing it is for animals to see things being loaded up and disappearing. I rushed him to the vet, and the long and the short of it was that he needed to be put to sleep. Tao died in my arms at 3:30 on the 18th December 2009. He’s been with me through thick and thin for 11 years, almost to the day, and I feel quite lost without his constant presence in my life. It’s hard to walk through a door and not be greeted by him; to lie in bed and not feel his presence in the room; to end a meal and not put a little treat in his bowl. All in all, Wednesday marked the end of a long cycle in my life.

 

The next day was spent unloading everything at my daughters, and finding a space for it all and somewhere to store the boxes that I’ll not be opening for the next 4 years or so. The furniture has gone in well, and looks as though it belongs there, so she is very happy with it all. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and couldn’t wait to get to bed and sleep, and the following days were equally busy as I was teaching again, though in Johannesburg this time, over the weekend.

 

For the next few weeks, I’ll commute between the Guest House and my daughter’s until we close for Christmas on 16th December. Between now and then, we have a party this weekend for old friends, the auction on 9th December and the staff party on 14th. It’s strange being back here as I am today, with the house now barely furnished with other pieces, not sleeping in my own room, and most of all no Tao faithfully shadowing me as I move around the property. The place is looking magnificent, but I’m impatient now to close this time and be on my way.

 

 

 

I was thinking of all of you in cold climates this morning and wanted to share these photo’s with you that I took on Sunday afternoon just before the mother and father of all storms!!

I hope you enjoy them and that they brighten your day!

And then, here is one more from my recent trip to Italy ….. a cold but beautiful sunny day in mid October …..

Yesterday I joined about 99 other people as the audience for a TV chat / panel Show. The reason I went was because a friend of mine was forming part of the panel for one of the shows (they film 2 in the same evening). I certainly was not there to form part of the filmed audience, so sat right at the back, out of camera lighting, with some of my friends. Clapping and laughing at the jokes is ok, I just didn’t want to be filmed. The topics were “Infidelity in marriages and relationships” and “Victim or Victor thinking”.

Both potentially good conversations when people feel safe enough to get beneath the clichés and to really think. They had on the panel for the first one, A leading female TV presenter from our own “Idols”, whose husband had cheated on her; the features editor of FHM (a leading men’s magazine in SA); and the stunningly beautiful owner of a strip club (with 2 of her girls in the audience). Hot stuff …. yes, but all too safely played as Gigi, yes that was her name, played up the innocence, , and the TV presenter was hurt. The features editor was the most deep thinking, and rescued the show. I forgot to mention our host, a DJ from one of the radio stations. Good looking, and with the gift of the gab, but lacked that something that encourages something more from his guests.

The second show on Victim or Victor thinking is very appropriate to SA. Here, they had again shown some originality with the choice of guests, with a leading actor, an ex-SA Beauty Queen, and a motivational speaker. The ex-Beauty Queen was dynamic, not just for her looks or her thoughts, but for what she is actually doing. She was the only one who had originally phrased thoughts, and who was inspiring not by what she said as much as by what she has done.

The whole experience got me thinking about what makes a good show, or for that matter a good conversation, and I’m sure they will do something good in the cutting room with what occurred. However in real life, we don’t get a cutting room and conversation is increasingly a dying art. So here’s my first thoughts about this in no particular order:

• Passion for what is being discussed
• Humour that is clever and not gross
• Clever use of words to get me thinking … Happy’s Blog is one of the classics for me in this (I hope you don’t mind me mentioning you?)
• A point of view that differs from the norm – being original in thinking
• judgement-free dialogue (judgements kill the conversation since they beg an argument or acquiescence – they’re like yes/no questions).
• personal stories
• talking from the heart, – when the speaker preaches, my ears close – I’ve come to hear you, not Wayne Dyer!!
• speaking from an ‘I’ perspective not “we” – owning what is said – it’s amazing how this changes what I’m able to say when I put myself in the picture and don’t just aim it at “you”.
• Respect for one another’s ideas ….. maybe this should be first …
• the ability to listen to what other’s say
• questions …. not assuming all the answers … it’s is interesting to note that the more exciting the conversation is, the more questions are raised. If the conversation stays in the safe harbour of what (we) I think, my mind is not switched on ….
• Leaving ego at the door … it’s about the conversation not how good/clever/profound I look saying what I’m saying ……

I wonder what you would add to the list …. and I wonder if I should change the name of my blog from Tricia’s Thoughts (much as I love the alliteration) to Tricia’s conversation ….. I’d much rather be having a conversation ……

What a day!! I’ve spent the whole day sorting through all my music and copying it onto my laptop and IPod so that I won’t have heavy CD’s to cart with me and still have everything I love with me. I’ve not finished yet, but I’ve 951 albums recorded so far!!! There’s at least another 100 to go!!

It’s not just copying them … it is also that I’m taking the time to sort them as well and having such fun meeting old faithfuls that I’ve not heard for some years.  Nostalgia!! It’s hard to beat.

When I get this finished, I need to sort all my pictures ……

What a week!!!

Tanya went into hospital yesterday and they operated to do a bone graft on her so badly, sadly mangled and broken bones in her leg. The operation went well so she is home now and starting the whole recuperation process. The leg hurts a bit, but the modern painkillers are superb. She’ll have to keep her leg up for the weekend, but after that she’ll be hobbling around again and the healing process should speed up dramatically.

Zilla, my other daughter will have her knee operated on in December, 7th. This looks to be a simple procedure through a “key hole”!!  She should be out the same day, and then a week later she flies out here for 4 weeks holiday. 4 weeks!!! This is going to be the longest holiday we will all have had. The time is planning out beautifully. We will have a week in Mozambique, 4 nights in a game reserve, another 4 at a popular beach resort (so the grandchildren can be with other youth for New Years Eve) and then down to St Francis and the wonderful restful time by the sea in Tanya and Paul’s house there. Bliss … I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, the movers are moving in on 18th to pack and move all my stuff, and before that I’m off to Cape Town for 5 days to do some teaching.

At the guesthouse, the whole sale process continues, and it looks as though this wonderful place will go to Auction in the first week of December. It’s been a difficult time, because we had an offer, and had to decide if we accepted the offer or took the risk of auction ….. the odds make the auction more attractive right now.

And … they finally managed to put Windows 7 on my laptop. Now I’m having to discover what all the differences are. The machine has speeded up, and that’s the first thing I notice, and it all looks cleaner. I’ll let you know as I find other advantages …..

Take care, all of you and have a good weekend.